well here i am again, writing to myself as usual. it's 1:18pm now. so here i am again. same old same old. nothing new actually. just that today i was reminded of her again. what i found out was the guy with her is a friend of my long lost friend. i wont say the details cos she might know. well if she is reading this, 99% she would not even care, up to her. this is such a small world. anyone that i know may know some1 else that may know me in directly. if you dont understand go and study yourself. is this all done for the sins that i have done in my 22 years of living. why must i go through all this. part of me is trying my best to forget her, but part of me wants her to be back by my side, loving her again and show her that we are meant to be together."You Will Be My Second And Last". i think only i and her know this phrase that i told her when we first met 5 years ago. even though all that was said when we were young and immature, secondary life, now it means a lot to me. i this she has forgotten all about it. i will never forget her even if i die or found another girl, which ever come 1st. she would have told me," you will get over it, get out of the shell, find some1 else, we still can be friends, she say it hurts to leave me, bla bla bla bla". but why didnt she say anything about getting back together. when i gave her the present, i was told she cried alot. then she never contact me to tell me all this. i also wrote her a letter telling her to not stay in touch anymore, and she did as told by the letter. she really wants me out and only stay as friend. which i think its impossible. how can a relationship which lasted for 5 years end without a concrete reason and expect the two persons to be friends. to me thats impossible. only she believes in this. is she for real. or is she hiding something from me. now that she is in another relationship, she most probably not borther about all this that i have said. Friends? huh! what a joke. she even asked me to go for a gathering. why must i go. i know that she will be there and most probably her new BF too. wont she think i would be jealous when i see them together. i know for sure i will be jealous. she keep saying take care take care. what does that all mean?
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