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Name - Fadzly B Azman
Age - 25

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Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Choices (161104)
As usual I am on my bed now doing nothing. As usual. What a life man. The choices you make show what you are going to be in the future. I dont know what I will be but I will be one lonely soul. Choices I made may not be the right ones but I still choose them. Some choices are good, some are bad. Mostly are bad. Hate it when the choices are bad. Or when I get not much choices and the only available choice is a bad one. Are choices made irreversible? I wish some were. Even if the choices made are reversed, are they going to be better? Well I will never know until I try to reverse it. Sigh.


Fadzly set up the umbrella @ 3 comments 6:58:00 PM

Chalet 19Nov-21Nov (221004)
I want to go for the chalet but something in me is telling me why should I go, my EX is going to be there. My old friends going to be there. I just got this feeling that I am not going to enjoy myself if I go. At least if I go for the chalet I would be able to relax myself at the beach or chalet and not be in my monotonous life now. But why am I having this bad feeling. I dont like it. But if I dont go, she will surely nag at me to go. I dont know what reason would I tell her if I dont want to go. Alot people would be disappointed. IS IT? To go or not to go. Thats the question. Would I come up with an answer or an excuse? Only Time will tell.

Fadzly set up the umbrella @ 0 comments 9:34:00 AM

Devils BAr (120904)
Today is the first time I go clubbing I never sweat alot. $20/-. Thats life. Should I say its a waste.But I met a lot of friends. Tian Rong, Thong Wee, Hui Yee, Karen, Chnan Haur and my 19th batch recruit. Such a small world. Sigh. Devils Bar the song mostly techno, little R&B. Some Rock. A mixture.

Fadzly set up the umbrella @ 0 comments 9:29:00 AM

From My PC (260604)
Hey bro, its alright man. I've regarded you as one of my close friends. Always sparing a thought for me and all. Remember those days in camp? Sad that I am leaving too. We shall keep in touch. Just message me if you are lonely. man bro..... Take care. Have fun in echo. Your time will come soon. So join me ya.

Fadzly set up the umbrella @ 0 comments 9:28:00 AM

Feel Different (020504)
Today I feel different. I feel a bit 'bo chap'. I dont know why. When they asked me to play soccer just now I rejected them. Why ah? I usually say yes. I gave the excuse that I was tired. But was I really tired? And I think I am trying to avoid him. Why? I dont know. I dont thin he realize it. Most probably he dont care one. What he only thinks of is his friends outside camp, his GF and his ORD date. Thats all he thinks. Sigh. What a waste. Sigh. Am I wrong to think this? Are there other thoughts in his mind other than those i have mentioned. I hope I was wrong.

Fadzly set up the umbrella @ 0 comments 9:10:00 AM

To My PC (260604)
To my ex PC. I had a good time working with you. Thanks for everything. Even if I dont show it but I really cant bear to see you leave. But thats in the past. Take care and all the best in your future endeavous. If you still want to keep in touch thats good. If not never mind. enjoy!

Fadzly set up the umbrella @ 0 comments 9:09:00 AM

Friend? (280404)
The other day he say I am a very good friend. I thought that this type of friendship means you do alot of things together. I dont feel the bong yet maybe. I dont feel that appreciated. Is this a tru feeling or what? Sigh. I think i have done alot of things for him but so far I think I never get anything in return. That day I have given him his present I think I didnt receive a thank you. Maybe I didnt hear or missed it. Sigh. Thats life. Sometimes when you make people happy, you yourself dont feel the joy. I know life has to go on but I still think of the past. Isthere a silver lining to this dark cloud above me? Sigh.

Fadzly set up the umbrella @ 0 comments 9:02:00 AM

Low Feeling (280404)
Today I am feeling the same low feelong again. I hate this feeling. Makes my mood low everything low. Sigh. I feel sleepy so I sleep more. Now I am a bit fresh than just now after some coffee and wash up of my face. Sigh. I only feel a bit better.

Fadzly set up the umbrella @ 0 comments 8:36:00 AM

Apology (270404)
Yesterday I apologize to him for hurting his feeling. We talked bad behind his back but he heard it. I had a bad feeling about it after that. I realised I had to do something. I dont want to lose a friend. I think. Luckily it was settled. I think. But things will never be the same again. To me he is one of my best friends, but I dont think he regard me as one. I just wish we were best friends. But what do best friends do? Do they do things together? Do best friends share everything together? He once said I am a good friend of his. He said that I am always concerned about him maybe others. He also said I treasure friendship alot. If what he say is true then I am really underestimating myself. Sigh. If people can think so good about me why cant I? Am I really that good? Did I 'wayang' so good that I myself dont really know. Sigh.

Fadzly set up the umbrella @ 0 comments 8:22:00 AM

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