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Wednesday, December 22, 2004
Going Out (131204)
Today again I go out by myself. What a sad life I am having. Is this because of all the things I have done and still doing? I dont feel good. I dont think I will ever have the good feeling that I loast a long time ago. The only thing I can do is try to find back that feeling. But how? Its lost. Gone forever. Even the way to finding it has disappeared. Its too difficult to find it back. I have gone way off course. Sigh. Must someone help me find back the way? Or must I find it myself? How can I answer all this questions? This is what I think when I have nothing to do. I have to keep myself occupied. Then I wont do all this. I just hate life. I cant find the purpose in it. No one understands me. No one knows me well enough to judge me. I only have my parents and grandparents in this life. Even though they are all I have, they dont know me that well. Friends. Whats the defination of friendship? Can anyone answer this lonely soul? Is there anyone out there to read this article of mine> Whatever advice anyone give, it will never be good enough? I can try to council people but who can council me? Professionals? Experts? Doctors? No one. Sigh.
Today again I go out by myself. What a sad life I am having. Is this because of all the things I have done and still doing? I dont feel good. I dont think I will ever have the good feeling that I loast a long time ago. The only thing I can do is try to find back that feeling. But how? Its lost. Gone forever. Even the way to finding it has disappeared. Its too difficult to find it back. I have gone way off course. Sigh. Must someone help me find back the way? Or must I find it myself? How can I answer all this questions? This is what I think when I have nothing to do. I have to keep myself occupied. Then I wont do all this. I just hate life. I cant find the purpose in it. No one understands me. No one knows me well enough to judge me. I only have my parents and grandparents in this life. Even though they are all I have, they dont know me that well. Friends. Whats the defination of friendship? Can anyone answer this lonely soul? Is there anyone out there to read this article of mine> Whatever advice anyone give, it will never be good enough? I can try to council people but who can council me? Professionals? Experts? Doctors? No one. Sigh.
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